Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
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I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
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Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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