I hope mine doesn't look like that
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
