i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize