i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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