I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
