she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
