Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
