Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
