Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
