there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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