omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
