What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There's always time for handjobs
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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