and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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