were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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