wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
