my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
