so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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