I think my vagina is haunted
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
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I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
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I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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