If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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