Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
