then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
