There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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