new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
