I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
ugly people sure do ruin things
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
