Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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