Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
