i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
