He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
