weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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