Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
