Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize