Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
