i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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