lets start a swedish sibling band together
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
