Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
