Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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