awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
