If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
