don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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