they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I supernannyed him into submission
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
