You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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