Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
