i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
