new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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