Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
