What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
