whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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