Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
the liver wants what the liver wants
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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