all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
