i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
