wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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