whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
