the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
