i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
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