We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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