Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
