Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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