She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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