i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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