I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
