why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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