where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
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To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
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The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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