I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
