So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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